10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship........

“My parents had a very good relationship,” I often hear my clients say.

“What do you mean by good?” I ask.

“They didn’t fight. They spent a lot of time with each other.”

That may have been the definition of a good relationship years ago, but now most people want more. Following are ten signs of a healthy relationship.

KINDNESS

Is kindness more important to each of you than having your way, being in control, or being right? Do you each receive joy out of being kind to each other? Being kind rather than controlling with each other is essential for a healthy relationship.

SPONTANEOUS WARMTH AND AFFECTION

Do you and your partner well up with warmth and fullness of heart for each other and express it with affection? Are you each able to see the beautiful essence within each other, rather than just the faults? Are you able to get beyond the outer to the unique inner Self of each other? Do you enjoy sharing affection? Warmth and affection are vital for a healthy relationship.

LAUGHTER AND FUN

Can the two of you laugh and play together? Do you appreciate and enjoy each other’s sense of humor? In the midst of difficulties, can you help each other to lighten up with humor? Can you let down and be playful with each other, letting yourselves be like kids together? Laughter and fun play a huge role in a healthy relationship.

ENJOYING TIME TOGETHER AND TIME APART

Are you both each other’s favorite person to spend time with? Are you motivated to set aside time just to be together?

Do both of you have friends and interests that you enjoy doing? Are both of you fine when you are not together?

Some couples spend a lot of time together because they really enjoy it, while others spend a lot of time together out of fear of being alone. It is important for a healthy relationship for each person to have friends and interests, so that they are not dependent on each other. Dependency is not healthy in a relationship, particularly emotional dependency.

A METHOD FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION

All relationships have some conflict. It is not the conflict that is the issue, but how you deal with it. Do you have a method for resolving conflict, or do the issues just keep getting swept aside? If fighting is part of how you deal with conflict, do you fight fair, or are you hurtful when you fight?

LETTING GO OF ANGER

If one or both of you get angry, do you hang on to it, punishing your partner with it, or can you easily let it go? In healthy relationships, both partners are able to quickly move on, back into kindness and affection.

TRUST IN YOUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER

Do you each trust that the love is solid, even in very difficult times between you? Do you each know that you can mess up, fail, disappoint the other, emotionally hurt the other – and the love will still be there? Do you each know that the love is about who you are, not what you do? This level of trust is essential for a healthy relationship.

LISTENING, UNDERSTANDING, ACCEPTING AND LEARNING

Do you each feel heard, understood and accepted? Can you share your secrets with your partner without fearing being judged? Are you each more interested in learning about yourselves and each other than you are in controlling each other? Is listening to each other with an open heart and a desire to understand more important than judging each other or defending yourselves?

SEXUALITY

Is your sexual relationship warm and caring? Can you be sexually spontaneous? Can you talk with each other about what brings pleasure to each of you?

FREEDOM TO BE YOURSELF

Do you each feel free to be all that you are? Do you each feel supported in pursuing what brings you joy? Does your partner feel joy for your joy?

While some people may naturally be open, kind, affectionate, accepting, and emotionally responsible for themselves, most people need to heal the fears and false beliefs they learned in their families. Healthy relationships evolve as each person evolves in his or her ability to be loving to themselves and each other.

Every Relationship Reaches It's Own Natural Turning Point

Q: Some friends and I were having a discussion the other day, prompted by the fact that the Internet dating route can throw waves of dates at a person. When does exclusivity enter into a relationship? Only when explicitly discussed? Or is it assumed after the couple has sex? Or has gone on a certain number of dates? How many dates?

A: When I've asked friends this question, the answer divides emphatically along gender lines-and not the way you'd guess. Men tend to think that the moment you've kissed you can presume exclusivity-and that the woman assumes the same thing. Women, on the other hand, presume the relationship is not exclusive until it has been specifically discussed-and that the man assumes this too.

Both sexes think this way because they've been taught all their lives that it's men who don't like to be tied down, and women who all crave insta-commitment. (A myth which is single-handedly responsible for the destruction of far too many fledgling relationships, but that's a rant I'll save for another day.) So women protect themselves by dating around until they are sure the guy isn't doing the same thing; while men think if they're interested in dating exclusively the woman must be too, since they've been taught that's what women always want.

Yet another complete communication muddle between the sexes.

Unfortunately, the short answer is there's no exact rule. I take that back-I hereby lay down a rule: if you're under three dates you're not exclusive. But short of that, every relationship is non-exclusive until proven otherwise, and every relationship reaches it's own natural turning point. If the other person acts as if you're dating exclusively-some possible clues: they assume Saturday night dates, they say "it's me" when they call (a habit which, frankly, should be illegal, but that too is a rant I'll save for another day), he asks you to marry him-and you're not on the same page, you should probably have a little sit down chat about it.

As far as Internet dating goes-give a little credit to the person you're going out with. They know you've probably got a few people to check out; they know the score. There's no reason for a speech: "I like you lots, Natali, but I can't quite commit to you until I at least meet Anuta."

No. Just go meet Anuta - if all night you find yourself missing the company of Miss , then you know it's time to have a talk about yanking both your personal ads off the web.

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12 Top Dating Tips For Country Singles

The dating issues for country singles can be very different than those of city dwellers due to the nature of rural life. But many of the issues or problems can be the same: perhaps there are key things the individuals are doing wrong on a date that sends out the wrong signals for example. Others may have lost the art of dating, or just don’t recognise romantic opportunities if they jump out at them.

The twelve dating tips below can help single people (and particularly country folk) who are finding dating hard or just need a little reassurance that they are doing the right thing:

1.Make time to date! This is a particular issue for country singles; rural or farming lifestyles can be full on leaving little time for fun and flirting. Animals need to be fed, milked and tended to everyday so be sure to arrange cover every once in a while to give yourself the time you need to look for love.

2.Think Positive! Being negative sends out the wrong vibes, this in itself is a barrier that is easily picked up on. If you allow yourself to go around thinking that “all the best men are taken”, or that nobody finds you attractive you will certainly not be exuding positive attitude. Don’t make excuses for yourself by putting the blame on the men (or women), ‘’they are intimidated by me’’ etc. Instead try a visualisation trick – give yourself five minutes everyday where you thank your lucky stars for finding you the partner of your dreams. Repeat over and over in your mind the description of how life will be and how your partner will be. In that 5 minutes behave as if it has already happened. You will be surprised at how the power of positive thinking will have a direct impact on your life.

3.Smile and the world smiles with you! Practice smiling and making eye contact with people, not just the opposite sex but everyone, man, woman, child. If they smile back say good morning or hello. You will be amazed at what a great feeling this gives you and soon you will start to recognise the same people and build a rapport. This is very important to get you out of your comfort zone and communicate more easily. This will give the perception that you are warm and friendly and that is an attractive feature. It will also get you into good practice for when you spot an attractive lady or gent– you will find you can open up communication far more easily.

4.No agendas! The worst thing you can do is put pressure on someone you have been dating to let you know how he/she feels about you. He will let you know soon enough – and if he doesn’t start telling you the things you want to hear then he isn’t the right guy or he just wants to take his time…if you are multi dating this should not worry you. Many women for example, waste years moving on too quickly because they are afraid they guy isn’t moving fast enough. If they were just patient and let things go with the flow when the guy makes up his mind it moves pretty quickly from there.

5.Keep your options open at first! - Multi-date and arrange to meet up with lots of different people. If you get too wrapped up in the first person you find you have any sort of connection with it will stop you being an interesting challenge to that person and also you might be eliminating some other promising options. Keep your options open until you have been seeing someone for a couple of months, then you can agree together on the exclusivity of the relationship.

6.Take it slow! Don’t become too intimate too quickly. Keep him or her guessing. Let him get to know more about you as a person before inviting him to get to know you intimately.

7.Be open minded! Try not to make wish lists about what shape, size colour your partner will be. Statistics show many people who have settled with a partner admit their choice was never the sort of person they thought they would end up with.

8.Choose wisely! With the point above in mind – do select someone who will understand your country way of life, there will be little point in dating city folk who may not understand you. Similarly with location don’t choose someone who lives the other side of the world.

9.Always look your best! – Yes of course personality is key but first impressions count and there is so much competition out there. The more toned you are, the more well read, the more interesting and the more groomed you are the better. Knock out a little bit more of your competition and make yourself feel good to boot– in fact you will often find if you are ahead in your game you will be fighting the suitors off!

10.Get some objective advice! Get your friends and family to tell you how you come across – don’t be too sensitive, listen to what people say about you and use this to your advantage. You are never too old to adapt your ways. For example if you know you always talk over people and have trouble listening you can keep this in the back of your mind on the date and try to stop yourself.

11.Don’t be scared of online dating sites. Thousands and thousands of people find love online everyday. It’s just escalating your chances of finding Mr right 1000%. If you live in a rural area with not much going on try registering with us for free at Countryside Love we are a dating site specifically run for country dating .

12.Keep a little mystery! – don’t tell him/her too much about yourself on your first date, ask about him. Leave him wanting more. Always make your first date short and sweet.

10 Expert Dating Safety Tips To Protect Yourself While Online Dating

Ladies, men, you too, you MUST protect yourself online. While we've all heard some horror stories, Online Dating can certainly be safe and lead you to great romantic relationship and finding love.

With the wonderful move of Online Dating into the mainstream of our culture so that it is becoming The Norm, we must learn to protect ourselves while pursuing love and dating through Online Dating and Online Personals.

What's single girl to do to protect herself while pursuing love, sex, and romance with Online Dating Sites?

First of all, during the Getting Acquainted stage of Online Dating correspondence, when you are simply exchanging a few emails to before the man asks you out, trust your gut if you are feeling really uncomfortable.

Then here are Top 10 Tips to protect yourself with Internet Personals and Online Dating:

1. Do not give out where you live to a stranger online. Do not provide a stranger you haven't met yet with your home address.

2. Let the man give you his phone number first, then respond with yours to him. Give him a cell number. If your only cell number is with your office, it's time to get a personal cell phone number. This is one you need to feel comfortable giving out. He's asking for your number. If this is a man you're interested in meeting, give him your phone number. Yes, we're hard to get, but, oye, don't make it impossible!

3. For Date 0 you must meet in a public place where it is lighted, not a super crowded nor a super dark environment. Save going to a darkly light dance club together for later after you two have met and hit it off! Maybe for your second date!

4. Meet near where the lady lives. For Date 0 you need to meet near you, where the lady lives, not just in a good very public place.

This is not just good manners on behalf of the man displaying that he is a gentleman, but it is also for your safety.

You then know where it is safe to park, how to safely approach the restaurant or bar.

Men, be a gentleman and meet her over near where she lives. By doing so you display that you are a protective and providing man, not a guy looking to be her equal but only a buddy. Meeting near where the guy lives or "half way" is what friends do. We are aiming for sexual and romantic chemistry here, not being buddies. By doing so, you will distinguish yourself immediately as a Man who is thoughtful and thinking of her safety and displays masculine cherishing behavior towards her femininity.

5. If he doesn't post a photograph of himself online and wants you to start emailing him privately, respond sweetly with the autoresponse option they have a Yahoo! Personals about wanting his photo first. And then send no more messages until he either posts a photo or provides you with a way to view his photo safely online.

Providing you with his MySpace page isn't safe because it reveals your name and MySpace profile to him, and you may have more personal information (name of town where you live....) which you might not want him, a total stranger, to see.

6. Maybe post your residence town as 1 or 2 towns over from where you live if you live in the burbs. This is not lying in your profile, this is protecting yourself. Any adult will understand when you later reveal where you really live.

7. If he is saying his job/career is terribly public like he is a celebrity or public figure (yes, they are at the Online Dating Sites, too!) so he doesn't want to post his photo at his profile, he can email you the address of a website with his photo or cite his name to you.

Men are to protect ladies. If he is more protective of himself than you, forget him. Move on. He's a boy not a man. Men protect ladies. They gave their names, website photos from their news coverage, Yahoo! ID where they posted their photo, something.

If he wants you to email him or set up a separate email address just so he can email you his photo, oye, he's expecting you to go to a lot of effort, and he hasn't even bought you a drink yet. If he is a man, he is making an effort to get you. If not, then not. I'm the pretty one, remember? I go to plenty of effort to look this gorgeous and sexy, and you are enjoying it, I know. Thank you for noticing. Bat, bat, flutter, flutter. However, I'm not making all the effort. Men seek to display their masculine prowess in pursuing us, bless their hearts. Don't you love it?

8. If the man starts to pester you for your personal contact information without revealing his first, just stop emailing with him. He's not worth it.

Remember, first, above all, protect YOU.

9. If a man gets belligerent with your online, block him and delete his messages. Remember, sometimes people are just being jerks. Maybe it was a really bad week at work. We're all human. Sometimes we are shrews. Whatever. Focus on what you want and move one. No need to obsess about it and panic. Just delete, block and move on.

10. Don't give out your personal email address until he has corresponded with you at the Online Dating site for at least 3 emails. You have more safety protection while you are still corresponding at Yahoo! Personals or Match.com than you do once you have moved over to your email account.

If he gets weird in some way where you are not comfortable while at the Online Dating website, you can block him easily and report him. Once over at your own email, he already has your personal email account.

Do be romantic and sensible while pursuing love online, don't you think? Because YOU are totally worth protecting!